One minute you pop into hospital for a routine procedure and the next minute somebody slips and accidentally pierces your heart. Next, they try to fix your heart and accidentally pierce your lung.

What a week!

When the angel of death is just around the corner waiting by the water cooler in a stylish pair of Raybans, there’s only one thing for it: Get up, get away and tell that story! Well, as soon as you’ve learned how to walk again…

With the aid of a colourful cast of characters, including an ageing vampire with false fangs, Nigel Osner - “the snake-hipped love child of Noel Coward and Eileen Atkins” (North West End) - tells this autobiographical tale of what it feels like to shake hands with death before sending it packing.

He’s got botox, a microphone and a new lease of life, so watch out! With 25 years of writing and performing under his bejewelled belt – you’re in safe hands.

Still Ticking is packed with laughs, pathos and original songs.

Nigel is the one who got away and he lives to spin a bloody good yarn.

“Quixotic, surprising, and packed with personality, it is a paean to growing old disgracefully by a better maintained version of Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones.” - Review Hub.

THE QUAY THEATRE, SUDBURY

Tickets: £15